Malcolm Kyle

Over the past 10 years I’ve diligently researched a huge amount of material on the principles of success. There are many variations on a theme and a whole ‘self-help’ industry has grown up around the insatiable desire for a quick-fix to success.

Naturally ‘success’ means different things to different people, so your definition of success will be wholly different to mine and that’s exactly as it should be.

I’ve taken everything I’ve learned over the past decade and condensed it into 4 clear, concise steps that are simple to follow & they’ll cost you nothing too!

1. Commitment: Not some false promise, nor half-hearted desire. I’m talking about 100% all or nothing commitment. If you’re not 100% committed to what you’re doing – stop and find something that you can be 100% committed to.

Commitment like this involves making a decision to do something and making a decision is a two-part process:

• Part 1: ‘Making the decision’ is relatively easy.
• Part 2: Burn all other options! Is far harder but it’s this second part of the process that generates success.

2. Consistency: Only with the discipline of taking action on a daily basis can you fulfil your commitments. Consistency is also about integrity, where you do what you say you are going to do, every time, without exception. Exceed expectations consistently and just watch how swiftly things start falling into place.

3. Connections: ‘No man is an Island’ was a phrase coined by John Donne in 1624, it was true then and it’s true now. In order to succeed we need the help of others, which is why we network and build relationships. Our networks allow us to reach more people through mutual collaboration.

4. Contribution: Get involved; help others connect with people they need to meet. Develop a ‘Givers Gain’ (® BNI) mentality, it will provide real momentum in your networking and is your route to success. It was Jim Rohn who said “Whoever renders service to many puts himself in line for greatness… great wealth, great return, great satisfaction, great reputation, and great joy”.

As with all things in life, knowledge is only the beginning, it’s the implementation of knowledge that is the key to succeeding; and that’s where my sneaky 5^th ‘C’ enters the fray… Challenge, for to truly succeed, you must constantly challenge yourself on a daily basis.

There are no magical short-cuts. In my examination of the successful, they are the ones who knowingly or not, apply and diligently follow these four steps.

Now you may be thinking that it’s OK to work on two or three and leave one or two off and you’d be right, it is OK… but it won’t lead to success, you need to be doing all four things to gain success. All four C’s are intrinsically interlinked and wholly dependent on each other, and if you desire to succeed, each must be given equal attention.

Wishing you the success you seek.

© Malcolm Kyle 2010

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For thousands of years, all learning and our personal/cultural history was passed down the generations by word of mouth only. Even today in many cultures around the Globe story-telling is still used as the primary source of cultural history. I believe that learning through story-telling is deeply embedded into our DNA.

Let me demonstrate just how powerful this is by asking you a few questions:

In J. M. Barrie’s wonderful story of Peter Pan – what is Captain Hook’s faithful companion called?

The answer of course is ‘Smee’ and how many of you got that right?

Virtually everyone – Now here’s the interesting 2nd part to that question – How long is it since you read or watched Peter Pan? For many in the room, it will be decades and yet… you recalled the name so easily.

To demonstrate this further, here are a few phrases for you to complete:

Brave New ….. (World)

What the ….. (Dickens)

Fair….. (Play)

It’s a foregone….. (Conclusion)

Into thin….. (Air)

One Fell….. (Swoop)

How fascinating! Every single one of those phrases was answered correctly but I wonder if you know who coined every one of them? The answer is…

William Shakespeare! All were included in his plays and have such power, they have entered into the English lexicon.

Now what I’d like you to do, is to think about your 60 second presentations. How much more memorable will they become if you include a story? You may have heard the expression ‘Facts Tell, Stories Sell’ and in the case of educating your fellow members – that’s 100% correct.

Tell a story, it will spark interest and it will be recalled, long after facts have been forgotten.

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Not getting Referrals, yet you feel you’re doing all the things you were told?

I’ve met many people who know that networking works for them, and works well. It works well for me too. I know exactly how much work (to the penny) it delivers; but some people say it doesn’t work.

A member recently told me that BNI wasn’t working for him and he would be leaving, after only a few months of networking. I was talking about this to his BNI chapter Leadership Team and the consensus was that  “after seeing him 12 – 16 times, and listening to his 60 seconds, they still didn’t really understand what he did”. That got me thinking, so I asked a couple of other people from the chapter to tell me honestly what they thought about him.

“Has quite an overbearing attitude”
“Has started to seem almost aggressive, I don’t really like talking to him now”
“Wouldn’t refer him, he seems to change what he’s offering regularly; not sure what he does or how to refer him”

Faced with those comments I’m sure that you can see why he was getting no business; in fact if he is reading this he’d probably say the same – at the same time as thinking “I’m not like that”.

This information is crucial to understanding how to be a success at Networking. Just think about how hard it was for you to learn how to sell yourselves and your products, I guess it took many months before you mastered a technique that was right for you worked it out and once you’d done it a few hundred times, it became easier. Now the important part.

People that are selling on your behalf don’t have that luxury; they’ve only known you a short time and their main role is selling themselves, not you. Ask yourself this: “Do they know how to recognise potential interest signals in my product or service, do they then know how to respond? Your job in BNI is to teach them these points, for a small, simple part of what you sell. It’s your job to make it simple, not theirs.

So if you change your offering, widen your net every week or ramble on in your “60 seconds” members of the group won’t understand, or will switch off. Information overload leads to not understanding how to hear and respond. Even when they know how to hear and respond, they need to be in the right place in front of the right person (and motivated to do it for you). You’ve done all that hundreds of times, they haven’t; think how you felt when first selling your product. It may be simple for you now, but not then, and not for them.

If you’re not converting the referral to a sale, it’s your fault, not the networking group’s fault ; if you are converting, remember where you got the business.

Three point action plan
1: Ask 2-3 people to be wholly honest with you and get them to tell you what they think you sell, and be humble. DON’T correct them or stop them from talking, just listen and learn. Communication is all about what the other person hears, not what you said.  If 2-3 people don’t get what you sell or do, change your message.

2: Ask a couple of people that you know well enough to tell you the truth; how do you come across? If they include things like “You sometimes appear negative”, “occasionally overly assertive”, “you’re a really nice person, but…”. You have something to learn and change – fast.

3: Think about how you felt when first selling your product. What started to make it easier, what phrase did you hear to indicate potential interest, how did you learn to respond? That’s what you need to teach people in the chapter. Check your message is getting through, ask 2-3 people.

After a little research you can find out a lot about the way you’re coming across and how well you are doing. You might not like the results, but don’t blame the people you talk to.

You may now be armed with some things you can do to change, and keep networking. You might still think networking isn’t for you, but you’ve got some fantastic research, which is valuable when you’re in front of real prospects too. That for me is a tremendous, uncounted benefit of networking – the research and learning is invaluable.

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